The Fear of Controversy

     I’m thinking about delving into some controversial topics for the first time on this blog (on just blog number 3 at that!). Perhaps in doing so, I will make some “fun and cheerful” cyber enemies, or attract the kind of attention I would prefer not to have. I hope not, but it’s possible. And it’s definitely part of the terrain for those who choose to express their thoughts and opinions on line.

     Perhaps I’m exaggerating for effect. Perhaps I’m throwing up a metaphorical guard to block the attack of some shadow opponent. In any case, whatever comes, so be it.

     The truth is, I do want to use this space to explore some deep ideas, and some challenging, potentially hard, topics – wherever my mind takes me, I will follow, and I have chosen to share that with you.

     But there is a loftier goal here. It may be an ambitious task, and I may fail miserably in the attempt. Nonetheless, attempt I shall!

     My hope is that I approach the controversial in a way that is respectful, kind, and open minded. Even when discussing something I am passionate about, something where my beliefs are iron-clad (and iron can be melted down), I will attempt to do so in a way that does not ridicule, or misrepresent the opposite position. And if all goes according to plan, this will be a space where people of many different perspectives can meet civilly, even if their perspectives are seemingly irreconcilable.

     This is, of course, impossible. Once a certain tipping point of numbers is reached, there will inevitably be… difficulties. This is the internet, after all.

     But it doesn’t mean the pursuit is not worth the pursuing. Quite the opposite.

     It seems to me that the divisions between us are growing these days. The arguments are becoming more “black and white.” The people boxes are becoming more solid, and nuance is getting squeezed out as a result.

     We need to learn to talk to each other again. Not about the things we agree on – that is easy. We need to learn to talk about the things we disagree about – and this is difficult.

     I had a thought about compassion that ties in with my philosophy here. Compassion is, of course, a virtue we all value. The power of empathy, with the desire to act on it, to help alleviate the suffering of others. We are compassionate of other’s circumstances, and this can drive us to powerful acts of charity, and lead to a greater understanding of one another, a greater connection between us.

     But compassion is easy when the object of that compassion is a friend. True compassion is that given to an enemy. True compassion dispels the illusion we have heartbreakingly cast upon ourselves – that there is such a thing as “other.”

     We are not “other.” We are “same.” Sounds like some hippy shit. But it is, in fact true. We are all apart of the same tribe called humanity. We are all kin.

     And despite the sad fact that even family ties can be irrevocably severed, and some wounds just cannot be forgotten, we nonetheless need to learn to live with each other again. That means we need to learn to communicate again, even with those who have fundamentally different beliefs to our own.

     Well, I guess I didn’t even reach controversy in the end. Such is my unquestioned power to digress. But at least now we have the rules of engagement and the arena set.

     So here’s a hastily concocted analogy for you, to tie this thing up.

     Controversy is like a creeping mist at the entrance to a dark cave. It is no wonder we fear it, for who knows what sleeping horrors lie lurking within. But we must learn what the cave is hiding from us – otherwise, how will be ever be prepared when the horrors within wake up and crawl out to greet us?