Who Let Fear onto this Thought Train?

The Train of Thought is about to depart. No tickets are necessary, except those tickets dubbed time and attention – if you choose to spend these precious commodities here, and for a time ride the chaotic tracks intertwined dangerously inside my mind, then you have my deepest gratitude…

And my condolences. You cannot unread whatever spews forth from my fingers in an unrelenting spell of confusion, blasphemy, soliloquy and (inevitably at times) unintended ignorance.

So, let’s talk about things. But be polite, be respectful, be strange, and most importantly, be brave.

Let’s talk about fear.

Fear is necessary. Fear is a biological function designed to perk up our senses, and pump us with the adrenaline necessary to deal with threats. Fear is an evolutionary trait that has allowed us to reach this point in time. Fear is a tool.

Some big sentences there – mostly word salad. But let’s see where we go next. A tool is defined as a…

I’m being a bit too silly here. But let’s think about this idea of fear as a tool for a moment. And not the kind of tool that people in power use to divide and conquer the masses; not the kind used to drive ordinary people to horrible acts in the name of [insert belief here]. We’ve had enough of that, thanks.

No I’m talking of fear as a personal tool, and kind of resistance weight training to develop that all important virtue – courage.

We all know the trope that the definition of courage is not to be without fear, but to strive forth in spite of fear. But sometimes it’s just so damned hard. Sometimes the fear is so powerful, so persistent, so convincing, that we are paralysed by it.

But this is no different to any other form of exercise. When developing strength, lifting a heavy weight too early can result in some serious physical damage; when starting out at Sudoku, playing the hardest difficulty can leave you with a migraine and a phobia of numbers and squares.

No, the idea is start at easier difficulties in whatever it is you are pursuing, and build up slowly from there. You may even find you’re a natural at a thing, and gain the confidence to push the boundaries with each new level up – but you’ll now be able to do so with an important frame of reference and new self-awareness.

So, I’m thinking, why don’t we do this with our own unique fear? We hear all the time, for all directions, that we need to be brave, that we need to stop letting fear dictate our lives, but where is the advice on how to do so?

And while I am aware there is a tonne of such advice out there – real professional tools and techniques from experts who know infinitely more than me – I think we are missing something in our “folklore.”

A better term for it escapes me, but folklore will do as a placeholder for now. What I’m speaking of is the spirit that runs through a society, through us common folk who have to help each other out the majority of the time – not all people can afford therapy, not all people can dedicate their time to reading copious amounts of books.

Thus, most of the time, we help each other out. We share ideas, we bandage each other’s wounds, we offer a shoulder to cry on. We do what we can.

So I have some layman’s advice on dealing with fear. I’m certain it’s not at all original, but take it with a grain of salt, anyway, (throw down a shot of tequila and chomp a lemon down too if you don’t want to waste salt).

Don’t feel the need to face all of your fear at once. Don’t think you are weak, or lack courage if you fail to face fear at any given time. This only feeds the fear and makes it that much stronger, that much more difficult to face in the future.

There is no shame in being bested by fear. It happens to all of us. Even superheroes, the archetypes of bravery, sometimes fall to fear.

And just like lifting weights, some people have had more practice at it. That’s fine. No decent person would judge or ridicule someone if they fail to lift a “respectable weight” on their first go. (If you do, here’s a perfectly straight middle finger, just for you.)

Instead, if it’s hard for you, try confronting just a little bit of fear. Something that makes you just a little anxious, but not enough to stop you. And when you stand victorious over that small piece of fear, recognise the feeling that comes after.

That is your courage. And a single seed of it is infinite. The rest is now only a matter of time and patience.

Fear is a tool. Courage is what we build with it, one step at a time.